Testimonial of Depression October 8, 2008

Depression: Many of us have dealt with some type of depression from time to time. Some deal with it for weeks, months, or even years; some for a life time.

 I’m a person who has bipolar disorder. I’ve been on medication for about 10 years. Once coming to Christ, I decided to take a leap of faith. The medication I was on was causing me to gain weight. I was tired of being fat, which in itself was depressing.

 I talked to my doctor and she took me off the medication slowly, agreeing to try a new medication if I experienced any problems. I felt all was going well minus the dizzy spells from the descention of medication. I felt good, felt happy, was determined more than ever this was going to happen. During this time I had my first experience of being filled by the Holy Spirit. What a wonderful day it was! All day I was consumed and blessed. It was one of the most beautiful experiences I had ever had.

 The next day was totally different. I felt down, angry, disturbed, you name it. I wasn’t myself and didn’t know what was going on. I immediately tried reading the Bible, and couldn’t. I tried praying and have never had a problem with hearing God’s voice; nothing but silence. I began to panic. All I could think of is how could this be happening? How can a person go from one day of being totally consumed by the Holy Spirit and the next day empty, unable to read the Word, or pray and hear His voice? Talk about depressed.

 I kept it to myself feeling it was only temporary. Little did I know that my family was sensing that something was wrong, but was used to my occasional moodiness. So they kept quiet, not realizing I was in need of intervention. This went on for a week. By the following weekend, I was a mess. I had given up. I thought I must be consumed by the devil. Why? How could that be? I loved the Lord our God! I believed and wanted so bad to be a good servant of His. How could this happen? What did I do wrong?

Of course the irrational thoughts kept coming at me harder and harder, until I started to isolate myself. I hated what was happening. I figured if I was that consumed by Satan, then I didn’t need to be here. I thought about my family and what they would go through if I took my life and began to weep. I went for a walk at 4:30 am without a coat and it was cold. I took my I-Pod that has nothing but Christian music on it to try one more time to connect with our Father. Still nothing.

When I arrived back home, I sat in a room that no one usually used and sat there in the dark crying. Trying to ask why, but not realizing how I was going about it. I heard my husband come down stairs and thought, please, don’t come in here. Leave me alone. You don’t want to be near me. I don’t want to hurt you. But he came in any how. He asked what was going on with me, but I began to cry to the point where I wasn’t coherent.

My beautiful, wonderful, husband then done the greatest thing he could have ever done. He placed his hand on my shoulder and began to pray. He prayed loud and clear. I continued to cry thinking to myself, babe, you’re just wasting your time. I’m too far gone. There is nothing you can do now. No one can help me.

Just then I felt compelled to start praying too. Then I lifted my hands and–I can not begin to explain the feeling–but God reached down–I saw his hand–and He grabbed mine and pulled me out of that deep, dark, miry whole I was slowly sinking in. Then he told me, “Daughter of mine, I never left you. You just forgot how to talk to me and ask me for help. I’ve been here the whole time waiting for you to call out to me. You did not listen for my voice. I will never leave you. Always remember to listen for my voice and to stay in constant contact with me. I love you. I want you to go see your doctor. You did not ask me if you should go off your medication, you made the decision on your own. I created doctors for a reason. Go back on your medication.”

I realized then what had gone wrong. I did not ask guidance. I did not pray about going off the medication. I just took for granted that the Lord is always there and would be glad I was going off it in faith. Our dad wants us to keep in constant conversation with Him. He wants us to ask. He knows all, there is nothing He does not know. All we have to do is ask Him what “He” wants us to do. I realized that I was so caught up in the moment that I did not take time to pray, to talk to Him, to ask, I was drifting at times–a part time Christian–something I swore I’d never be. It’s easy to get into that position.

Something to remember as well, the closer we come to God, the more the enemy strikes. We need ot be able to recognize that and take a stand rather than give in to it.

 Now if I do not get up and say, “Good morning Father, Good morning Jesus, Good morning Holy Spirit and get into the word, talk to Him in silence, I feel empty. The day becomes a mess. I can always tell when I’ve walked away. These days, I make sure I get in the Word, whether it be through Capitol Christian Center, the web site of our church, Pod Casts, or Reading the Bible or other Christian books. Life is too precious and the promise at the end of our lives on Earth is too precious to lose. Keep the Faith! Keep in constant conversation! God is Good, All the Time! And All the Time, God is Good! We can not go it alone. Got Jesus? I do!

Daily Devotional October 8, 2008

So becareful how you live, not as fools, but as those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity for doing good in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but try to understand what the Lord wants you to do.  Ephesians 5:15-17 (NLT)

Rick Warrens Purpose Driven LIfe Daily Devotional covers this verse in the article; How to Balance Your Schedule Very interesting article.

Scars of Life October 8, 2008

Scars of Life

 

The following is an e-mail I had recieved and felt compelled to share it with everyone. Just goes to show how strong our Fathers love is for us. Very touching!Some years ago, on a hot summer day in South Florida; a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water; he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went. He flew into the water not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.
His father, working in the yard, saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could. Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms
just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two.
The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator. Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived.
His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father’s fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved. The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, ‘But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn’t let go.’ You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us
deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He’s been there holding on to you. The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril – and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That’s when the tug-of-war begins – and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go. You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are going through. Never judge another person’s scars, because you don’t know how they got them. Also, it is so important that we are not selfish, to receive the blessings of these messages. Always tell your family and friends how much You Love Them!!!

 

Welcome October 8, 2008

Hello! This blog is mainly to discuss Christian enlightenment and happenings. And kids stuff, as I care for some of my grand kids full time. They are important to the future of our country, this is why I like sharing sites and info. I discover that deals with children. Come with me on my journey as a fairly new born again Christian and share your news as well.